


Apparently, I don't like you

by AtomwaveHeadcanons (ColdAtomHeadcanons)



Series: Atomwave Headcanons [2]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: AUish, I like it when things just write themselves, Kinda, M/M, Post S2, atomwave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 21:17:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11586354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdAtomHeadcanons/pseuds/AtomwaveHeadcanons
Summary: “How can anyone not be afraid of love?” Mick grumbles, right after Ray told him about Amaya and Nate, about how disapproving he is, because they are both going to get hurt in the long run, but still happy that his teammates found something as important as what they are in each other.“What?” Ray asks, half hoping he just heard wrong.“Loves makes you stupid in the head.” Mick adds, the throat of the bottle inches away from his lips and snarl on his face.





	Apparently, I don't like you

**Author's Note:**

> Ask : Then maybe Atomwave with 13. “How can anyone not be afraid of love?” or 32. “I’d ask you to stay but I don’t like you.”?

They find out, the dinosaurs are not the worst thing waiting for them. Dinosaurs, they can deal with. The twisted buildings, they can deal with also. The broken time, it’s not like that happened to them for the first time. They just have to go and figure out exactly which event it was and fix it to the best of their ability – and they manage, sure, it requires jumping few Earths, stealing some spears and Christ’s blood, but they DO get the world back to how it is supposed to be.

No.  The worst thing is happening right now, right here in Mick’s room and it’s the first time in forever that Ray feels helpless. Because Mick’s drinking his fifth or tenth beer – Ray stopped counting by now – with his feet on the table, saying the most unbelievable things.

“How can anyone not be afraid of love?” Mick grumbles, right after Ray told him about Amaya and Nate, about how disapproving he is, because they are both going to get hurt in the long run, but still happy that his teammates found something as important as what they are in each other.

“What?” Ray asks, half hoping he just heard wrong.

“Loves makes you stupid in the head.” Mick adds, the throat of the bottle inches away from his lips and snarl on his face. “Makes you think about protecting and  _sacrifices_.” He spits the last word out, disgusted and Ray has no idea what to say. Mick is not completely wrong. Love does make one do things one maybe wouldn’t do before. It does make you think about sacrifices – but that’s only because one wants to see the person one loves alive, healthy and if possible happy. Or not see them, but know they are all of the above anyway. So Ray understands where Mick is coming from, but he never considered it a bad thing. After all, dying like that would be the most noble thing.  _Love_ is the most noble thing.

“Love is the most selfish thing.” Mick mutters as if Ray said anything out loud. Ray’s sure he didn’t. “People fuck off to do the ‘right’ thing not giving a damn about who they are leaving behind. About what will happen to the people they are leaving behind, how those people feel, because it was done out of  _love_.” Mick’s hand is white around the bottle, and Ray would be surprised it didn’t break yet (maybe Gideon’s doing?) but he’s far too focused on Mick’s words. Because it doesn’t sound that Mick dislikes the idea of love because he’s Mick and he’s trying to be difficult. It feels like Mick is – or was – hurt like that. It feels like Mick cared about someone and that someone died, sacrificed themselves for his sake and-

Ray’s eyes widen, as everything suddenly makes sense. He opens his mouth, but before he can say anything, before he can get out as much as a peep, Mick is pointing his bottle at him almost as if it were a weapon.

“Not a word haircut. You came here to drink. If I wanted to hear about emotional crap, I’d watch Dr. Phil.” Mick’s glaring and Ray sighs, before lifting his own bottle to his lips, takes a heavy gulp which earns him a satisfied nod from Mick, before the other man gets up, grumbling about getting another beer.

Ray’s not paying attention, truly, his mind too preoccupied with the information he just learnt.

Mick was in love with Len. Len died, sacrificing himself for Mick’s sake, for all of their sakes and now Mick’s afraid to love again. Ray’s eyes move to the man, who’s arguing with Gideon about not having ‘just enough’ beer yet and he frowns. Being afraid of love must be the worst feeling ever. His hand tightens on his bottle as he frowns. If there was anything he could  _do._

... oh wait. He blinks, a plan already forming in his mind.

* * *

 

Ray never looked at Mick as at someone he might be interested in. Not because Mick’s bad looking – he’s certainly not, as Ray’s closer inspection proves, his arms are big and Ray can’t keep his eyes away now when Mick’s lifting something or helping Sara in the cargo bay. He can’t look away as he guesses just how Mick’s muscles move under that jacket of his. Ray wonders how they would feel if he touched them, or what it would feel like to have them close around his frame. No, it isn’t that Mick’s not good looking. He  _is_. It’s just that Ray doesn’t consider his friends, usually. Not unless someone opens his eyes or something big happens. Like with Kendra and Felicity. Though none of those cases worked too well for Ray, so maybe he shouldn’t compare Mick’s case with theirs. Because with Mick, Ray wanted to make everything work. Not only because of himself, but mostly Mick. Because even if a lot of people wouldn’t say so, Mick was kind. And Mick deserved the best in life, which included love. And maybe Ray isn’t the best person for that, looking at his record, but he is the one who is willing to give everything for the person he loves. And, he thinks as Mick catches him staring, making Ray smile and wave, Ray wouldn’t mind if he would give everything to  _Mick_. Especially if it will stop the man from fearing love itself.

* * *

 

Ray considers looking for help online. Gideon is wonderfully fast with searches, and looking for something like ‘how to make people fall in love with you’ shouldn’t take more than a few seconds with her. Still, to Ray it feels kind of like cheating. Because he wants to make this real. Which means going at all of this the usual, hard way.

So he prepares the burgers, the ones he’s sure Mick likes with as little vegetables as he can stand (there should be at least  _something_ healthy about those) and walks off in search of Mick. Ray finds him in his room, cleaning his gun once more – a habit that Mick got into after Len left them for the second time – and smiles.

“Hey. I got food.”

Mick looks up, his eyes zoning in on the plated burgers and he rolls his eyes, but he’s putting his gun down and is reaching for the burger in next moment. Ray’s smile brightens as he quickly hands over the plate and sits down on one of the chairs, speaking about how Nate’s working on the new aberration system and about the places for vacations Ray would want to visit in the future. Mick’s chewing quietly, but it feels like he’s listening at least and Ray counts that as victory.

* * *

 

They make a habit out of that. Mick would clean his gun every other day, Ray would come with food and babble about this or that. Other days Ray would bother Mick until the other agreed to watch a movie with him and Ray finds out Mick’s as much of geek as Ray is. Only the other is more interested in Disney movies than movies about space. Not that Mick would ever admit to that, of course.

It doesn’t matter that they saw Mulan, Brave and especially Pirates of the Caribbean more times than Ray can count by now, they are spending the time together. And hearing Mick’s snicker at Norrigton’s face at the famous ‘But you  _have_ heard of me’ line, makes something in Ray’s chest jump.

It’s only when Mick looks over, eyebrow lifted and handful of popcorn on the way to his lips that Ray realizes he’s staring. His eyes snap to the screen, he swallows hard and as butterflies he forgot about start fluttering in his stomach he realizes, it won’t be so hard to completely fall in love with Mick. He is at least halfway there already anyway.

And maybe, just maybe he understands Mick’s fear, just a tiny bit. His hands clench together in his lap and he’s more nervous when he tried to ask Felicity out. If Mick’s afraid of love, if Mick doesn’t want to love again-

The popcorn bucket is pushed into his lap, hiding his shaking hands and Ray catches it, before blinking up. Mick’s not looking at him, instead he’s laughing at Jack’s genius inability of functioning like a normal human being. It’s almost as if he didn’t do anything at all, but the bucket is still warm in Ray’s hands and Ray can’t help the small smile slipping on his lips as his fingers tighten around it.

He’s not going to look the gift horse in the mouth.

* * *

 

It’s hard to tell days apart from weeks on the Waverider. There are times they sleep, there are times they are awake. There are times they fight, there are times they relax, there are times Mick’s allowed to set things on fire. Everything works in the quiet hum, but no one can ever tell just how much time passed by- an advantage (or maybe disadvantage) of living on a time ship.

What Ray knows it’s somewhere between eight and tenth viewing of Moana, and close after the mission with Goblin like creatures appearing in the past – something that put Mick in a good mood, because the creatures seemed to be weak against fire. Mick’s happily cleaning his gun and Ray doesn’t know what possesses him to open his mouth.

“You know, I could make the gun better.” Ray offers over their shared muffins. He’s trying for a light voice and is not surprised when Mick’s head snaps up, glaring over.

“The gun’s just fine.” He growls, before turning his back on Ray and ray sighs quietly when Mick pointedly doesn’t touch any muffins anymore.

… maybe Ray is too soon. The wound Leonard left behind is still probably too fresh.

* * *

 

Somehow, Ray’s plan changes from ‘making Mick realize love is nothing to be afraid of’ to just ‘make Mick at least a little bit happy’. And somehow the little small hopeful voice that kept whispering ‘with me’, changed into ‘just happy’. Because if Mick’s afraid of love, because if Mick’s still too much in love with Leonard, then Ray isn’t going to push his way into that. He’s going to let Mick grieve as much as he needs, while he’ll be there for the man.

He enjoys the stake outs with Mick, the intel gathering – even though that usually turns into a brawl and, Ray has to admit, almost half of those brawls are his own fault – the movie watching, and the cooking for the two of them.

Time flies as fast or slow as it can on the Waverider and Ray finds himself discovering more and more of Mick, the parts that only Amaya saw before she got too busy with Nate. And Ray was selfishly happy about that, about the possibility to steal so many moments of Mick’s time.

* * *

 

Ray stops counting all the movies by the time he’s sitting in Mick’s room again, both of them munching at the new triple bacon sandwiches, Ray talking about his progress with the suit.

“The Dwarf Star we collected on Earth Three is different from our own. In some cases better.” He says, the words bubbling out with excitement. “I tried to apply what I found out to the suit. It’s not one hundred percent yet, but I think for more testing I’ll need Nate’s help. If he’d steel up and –“

“No.” Mick interrupts him, not looking away from the screen. Ray blinks, looking at the man almost,  _almost_ sure that he just imagined it. He licks his lips and shrugs.

“Well, there is no other way to  _test_  it, really and it would be rather helpful.”

“No.” Mick glowers, this time turning his full attention to Ray. His eyes are hard and for a moment Ray’s reminded of the time he asked about changing Mick’s gun. But this is not about Leonard, this is not about his gun. Unless Mick believes he should fix the coldgun first, before working on his suit, but that’s not that easy. Ray can guess what Cisco used when it came to the gun, but unless he talks to the man himself about it (and possible upgrades) he doesn’t even want to mention the possibility to Mick. Doesn’t want to remind him, but if Mick reminded himself already-

Mick doesn’t let his thoughts fly too far because he’s opening his mouth again.

“You two doofuses will mess something up again. Sara won’t be the only one killing you if one of you will fly out of airlock again.”

And, really, Ray believes that’s a bit unfair. They didn’t exactly  _fly out of airlock_. There was a malfunction, one that no one could count with and it wasn’t  _their_ fault.

“We’re going to be safer now.” He promises to the other man, who, curiously, still doesn’t turn to watch the movie again. Something that’s rare with Mick, but not utterly unwelcomed on Ray’s side. Ray should probably feel guilty about it, but he selfishly doesn’t. Mick’s still glaring though, and Ray doesn’t want the man worrying.

He shrugs with one shoulder, bites off the sandwich and chews.

“Worst case scenario – I’ll just lose my suit again.” He says grinning, after he swallows, before looking back to the screen on the wall, sure that Mick will follow suit. He doesn’t. Instead he grabs at Ray’s wrist when he goes to take another bite of the sandwich and waits until Ray turns to face him.

“And what? Fight some damn warlord again? Losing your suit wasn’t the only thing that happened to you the last time.” Ray can feel Mick’s fingers tightening on his wrist, he can feel the hot fingers on his skin and he swallows hard, before looking up. Mick knows. Mick knew back then already, because instead of falling for Ray’s easy smiles all the way back, instead of believing Ray when he tried to push the mental and physical hurts away by pretending everything was okay, the man grabbed him and pulled him towards the medical bay, not letting Ray get out of the chair until Gideon, the traitor, informed Mick all wounds she could deal with were healed.

Ray’s heart flutters at the reminder of Mick kindness, of seeing how the man cares even  _now_.

“We’re going to be safe.” Ray says quietly and when Mick doesn’t let go just yet, he shrugs. “You can supervise if you want.”

Mick huffs at that, and even though he doesn’t seem to be as impressed with Ray’s idea as Ray is, he still nods.

“Fine. But if you’ll do something stupid and dangerous, I’ll burn you clowns both down.” He threatens. Ray decides not to point out just how counterproductive that would be.

* * *

 

The first thing Ray notices is the shouting. He tries to open his eyes, he wills his hand to reach out and touch the shouting person, but for some reason his eyelids feel heavy and his body’s not listening to him. There’s a pulsing pain making itself known from the side of his head, and the loud shouting finally registers as words in Ray’s brain.

“Are you a  _complete_  idiot?!” Mick’s yelling and when Ray finally manages to crack his eyes open, he sees the man standing all the way in Nate’s personal space, with the other man staring at him with wide eyes, hands lifted up in a surrendering gesture.

“Look man, we were just testing the suit!” Nate sputters and there’s a glint in Mick’s eyes, Ray’s sure he can see it.

“You want testing? I’ll give you testing.” Mick hisses, before the man’s hand moves to his hip and clutches at the gun there. “Do you want to test if your metal suit can withstand my gun? I’ve seen the future though. The answer is ‘no’.”

Nate freezes, his mouth’s opening and closing quickly and Ray can’t watch anymore. He pushes through the pain, and finally lifts up his hand.

“Mick.” He calls, sitting up and only then realizing Amaya on his side.

Mick’s attention instantly snaps to Ray at the word and he might not be walking over, but he’s also not paying any attention to Nate. Good. Ray motions with his eyes for Nate to leave, hide until Mick’s alright with him again and save his own skin, before offering a small smile.

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Amaya asks helping him sit up before sharing a look with Mick as if Ray couldn’t be trusted. “Nate was steeled up.”

“It wasn’t his fault.” Ray defends his friend and Amaya doesn’t roll her eyes. Neither does Mick. The man growls in the back of his throat, comes closer. Mick’s gloved hand slides not too gently into Ray’s hair, pulling until Ray leans his head to the side, giving Mick enough room to see.

“He hit you in the head.” Mick growls during his inspection and Ray sighs.

“He didn’t know there was a malfunction and I was pulling the helmet off.”

“If he aims for the head during testing runs, he’s a bigger moron than I thought.” Mick complains, but contrary to his words, his hand turns the rough ministrations into gentle caresses in his hair. It’s soft and warm and Ray’s eyes close again, until he feels a sharp tug at his hair.

“Don’t sleep, you might have a concussion.”  

Ray’s eyes blink open. They are alone in the room, Mick’s kneeling next to him. Ray’s swallows and nods, and wonders if he should tell Mick that the concussion is more than probable, considering Ray just skipped the part where Amaya left.

“You’re right. Maybe I should ask Gideon to check that for me?” Ray offers with a smile and Mick huffs, before getting up. His arm curls up around Ray’s waist and Mick helps him up.

“That’s the first smart thing you said today.” Mick informs him, and as they make their way to the medical wing, Mick doesn’t let go of him. Instead, Ray can swear the arm around him tightens even more.

* * *

 

Something changes after that. Mick’s more talkative during Ray’s stay in his room. He stands closer to Ray during the Legend’s meetings and requests to be paired with Ray out there (“just so you two idiots won’t kill each other out there, making all of us go  _back_  in time to save you.”). Mick’s looking for Ray on his own even, and that makes Ray’s heart ache. Because this is all he would wish for, but he’s also well aware that Mick’s still too hurt over Leonard. He still sees the way Mick’s staring at the gun when he thinks no one will come over. He sees the way Mick protects the gun and the way he gets furious if this or that villain does something to damage it.

The biggest change is Amaya though. She keeps staring at Ray and Mick whenever she happens to walk around Mick’s room when the two of them are watching a movie. She politely refuses all and any invitation, but she still gives Ray this little frown. Like she’s disappointed in him, and she can’t, or won’t really tell him why. Ray wouldn’t think anything of it at first, but soon  _Nate_  starts shaking his head, half-curious, half-disbelieving and Ray’s  _sure_  something’s up. He plans to ask Nate about it – the guy will give up sooner than Amaya will after all – but he doesn’t get the chance.

* * *

 

They win. They beat the time pirates or Time Lords or whatever this new kind of the Time Masters wants to be called. They are more of a cult, actually, trying to repair the Oculus, or save it by returning in the past enough. It doesn’t matter, because they beat them and the world is safe from maniacs who feel like they have any right ruling over it.

It makes Ray stupidly happy, the adrenaline pumping through his veins and he can feel his face’s flushed as he turns around to look at Mick, to share his happiness with him. Only when he does Mick’s staring  _behind_ him, his eyes wide and scared and in next moment the man is next to him, pushing him out of the way. Mick’s gun shoots and it clashes with white light. Mick’s and the familiar figure are thrown – blown – away from each other and the second Ray catches his breath, he’s scrambling over to Mick, his gloved hands running all over the others body, hoping the man’s alright. He can see Amaya running over as well, but the rest hesitates.

“But Leonard –“

“That wasn’t Snart.” Ray snaps, because if it was, if he hurt Mick like that, then Ray is going to hunt him down. “Whatever it was, it wasn’t Leonard. And it’s gone. It’s no longer here.” His suit doesn’t pick an any live signal other than their little group. “But  _Mick_  is.”

That seems to snap Sara out of the trance and she nods, already helping Ray get Mick up. The man groans, and Ray can’t  _see_ any blood, which is a good sign. As long as there’s no internal bleeding at least.

Ray doesn’t believe in praying for the things one wants. He believes one should get them through hard work, but he does pray now.

* * *

 

“You should tell him when he wakes up.” Amaya says quietly next to Ray, breaking the silence of Mick’s room and Ray’s tempted to pretend he has no idea what she’s talking about. “You should really get it out in the open.”

“No.” Ray mutters, his eyes finally moving from Mick’s frame, looking down at his joined hands. He doesn’t look up at Amaya. He doesn’t have to, Ray can  _hear_  her frown in her voice.

“Why not?”

And how could she even ask that? Isn’t it more than obvious?

“Because it’s Mick. I know how long it takes him to trust someone. I don’t blame him for that, but…” It sounds lame. It’s like in all those movies where someone just wants to shake someone and force them to admit what they feel because it might be a happy ending in the end, and Ray never understood why they didn’t. Not until now at least. Right now he can understand the fear of hurting the one you care about the most, of losing them – because in a way he did lose Felicity after their break up. In a way it’s sometime awkward between them and Ray doesn’t want the same with Mick. Or worse. “I know he doesn’t like me back. I know he’s still in love with Snart.”

“Ray, sometimes you’re –“

“An idiot.” A voice grumbles from the bed and Ray’s head snaps up, his eyes widening as Mick groans. The man blinks into the light above them, before sitting up slowly, reaching out to grasp Ray’s wrist before he can stand up from the chair. “Leave.” He growls and Ray jumps, half in the process of pulling his wrist free when Amaya snorts.

“Just for the record, you’re  _both_  idiots.” Ray hears, before the door to Mick’s room hisses shut. Ray’s heart suddenly hates the cage it’s closed off in and does its best to beat right out of his ribcage. He swallows, before opening his mouth.

“Would it be too much to hope you didn’t hear all of that?”

“Yes.” Mick’s hand tightens on Ray’s wrist and his other hand grasps the side of Ray’s neck, fingers splaying wide over his ear and making Ray look up. “But  _you_ heard everything Amaya had to say. You’re also a genius, so figure it out, Haircut. Fast.” Ray wants to ask what the hell Mick’s talking about, but only gets as far as opening his mouth. Then Mick’s lips are pressed against his own and Mick’s kissing him. Mick’s  _kissing him_ and –

Oh.  _Oh_. Of course. He pushes away from the temptation that’s Mick’s kiss and tries to glare at the man. But it’s hard to grin and frown at the same time so Ray just gives up on the latter.

“You should’ve told me!” He complained. Just how long was this going on? How much time did the two of them waste by now? Though Ray’s sure that only right answer to the last question would be too much.

Mick rolls his eyes at him, hooking his legs around the feet of Ray’s chair and pulls it closer along with Ray. Ray yelps, his hand presses against Mick’s chest and he blinks.

“What are you doing?” He asks, curious. Mick’s hands settle around Ray’s waist, heavy and warm and it all feels too nice.

“I’d ask you to stay. But apparently, I don’t like you.” Mick smirks a little devilishly. “So I’m just making sure I get what I want.”

Ray rolls his eyes and decides that he likes Mick much more when he’s kissing him than when he’s teasing him. At least, right now.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with me at atomwaveheadcanons at tumblr.com! I always like to talk!


End file.
